


At The Doctor's

by christian_hayes



Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: ALL THE FLUFF, Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Comunication, Fluff, I swear it's mostly fluff, M/M, NOW i'm done, Oh, Past Rape/Non-con, Smoking, and some pining, but that's it, i'm writing a summer vacation au in winter, just smoking and alcoholism, like barely any angst, lots of good communication, nothing too outlandish, s, take notes
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-01-06
Updated: 2019-01-15
Packaged: 2019-10-05 12:14:22
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 18
Words: 13,392
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17324810
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/christian_hayes/pseuds/christian_hayes
Summary: Where Virgil decides to show up to Emile's summer house for a change (after having been invited for years)





	1. Yeah, Sure!

It'd been four years since his last session with Doctor Picani. Not that Virgil wasn't seeing a therapist anymore, the two had just befriended each other, and every medical professional knows that you don't treat someone you know. It's easier to stay professional when you're talking to a stranger. It was also the fourth year he was invited to Emile's beach house for the summer. Well, Emile and Remy's, but Remy didn't mind being left out of the title, he wasn't the one paying for it. It was also about to be the fourth year that Virgil said he couldn't make it for whatever bullshit reason he'd come up with, and he was about to press send on the message he had typed out about being busy with work when he looked up and around himself. 

His room was a mess, no other way to describe it. There was clothing and blankets and papers littering the floor (he hadn't seen the carpet in months) and his plants were dead. He could hear AC/DC blasting out of his roommate's room through the walls and the circles underneath his eyes contrasted heavily with his scarily pale skin. He needed a break. He needed to get out of the house for a change. So, he deleted the message and replaced it with a "yeah, sure!" before throwing his phone onto his bed and walking to the kitchen, not wanting to be able to regret his decision. He grabbed some chips, turned on the tv, and started watching whatever was on.

Which is why his roommate found him weirdly caught up in a BBC documentary about Pompeii while eating an entire bag of doritos.


	2. Je Suis Arrivé

Which is how Virgil ended up here, in the beach house, in Emile and Remy's bedroom at 11 AM, trying to wake them up without any physical contact since both of them were very naked and Virgil didn't feel prepared to deal with that. Luckily they were under the covers but still, they were naked. Emile woke up first due to Virgil just yelling "Doc!" in his face and he quickly woke Remy. "Five more minutes." The latter mumbled and Emile sighed. "Honey, Virgil is here." Remy still didn't move. "He's seen me naked before." That was true, he had. It was actually how Emile and Remy had met about six years ago. Virgil had gone out for a drink and ended up taking Remy home with him but when he slept in and missed his session with Doctor Picani, Emile had shown up at his house to make sure he was okay, and Remy had opened the door. 

"That doesn't mean I want to see that again, Remy." Virgil replied. "I just wanna know where I can dump my stuff, you two can go back to sleep after that." He continued. "Alright, will do." Remy said, snuggling up to Emile. "Remy I love you but we gotta help Virgil now. I'll come back to cuddle you afterwards." Emile tried as he carefully pushed his husband away. "But then Logan will show up because we said noon so he'll be here exactly at noon and then you need to help him and then Pat will show up and I know what happens when Pat shows up." Remy whined. "Well then maybe we should just get up. Virgil's been traveling all night so he needs to know where his room is." Emile replied, managing to keep the sheets wrapped around him while he sat up, which Virgil was very thankful for. "Virge? Could you leave for a second while we get dressed?" He asked Virgil, who was still awkwardly standing there. "If it takes more than ten minutes, assume we're fucking." Remy added as Virgil left. "Remy, no, get dressed." Emile told him. "Fine."

 

It didn't take more than ten minutes, thank god, before Emile stepped out of the bedroom. "Remy's taking a shower, I'll show you your room. You're sharing with Logan." Emile told him. "Logan doesn't talk much if you don't want him to, he's good with boundaries." He added and Virgil smiled at that. Four years and Emile still remembered how much Virgil hated it when people tried to constantly talk to him. "Thanks, Em." 

"No problem. But how are you doing these days?" 

"It could be worse. I mean I saw you two weeks ago and not much has changed since then but I'm really tired thanks to all the traveling. How are you? And Remy?"

"Oh we're great. We always get here a week before everyone else to make sure everything is in order and to have some alone time and it's been amazing."

This was their first time going on vacation as a married couple and it was also their honeymoon since they couldn't really think of a better place than the beach house. It was where they'd gotten together for the first time, where Remy had proposed, and the only vacation they had together since one of them always had work. And it was theirs. Not just that the property was theirs but also it was  _theirs_ and it was perfect. 

 

"So this is where you and Logan will be for the next three weeks. You can put your bags anywhere and pick a bed. Logan should be here in about ten minutes but you don't have to come downstairs if you don't want to." Emile left after that and Virgil dumped his bags onto the bed on the right. The room was big, and even that felt like an understatement. It more than twice as big as his room back home and had a walk-in closet and an en suite bathroom. The two windows over the beds were huge and the ocean breeze that drifted through them and made the white curtains blow softly made Virgil feel a pull in his chest. It smelled like home, somehow. The salty smell mixed in with the smell of fresh sheets and Virgil thought he'd never smelled anything beter and he realized just how dirty his place truly was. He hadn't smelled this since starting college and fuck, how he'd missed it. The sun illuminated the room and it was brighter than Virgil was used to but not unwelcome. Everything about the room - about the entire house, really - was just  _light_ and Virgil wished he could live here, but he knew he'd only destroy it. But still, for some reason, he felt at home.


	3. The Body Bag

Like Remy had predicted, the doorbel rang at exactly 12. Emile had gone to open it and he and another man walked in right as Virgil sat down next to Remy on the couch. "Logan! You're thirty secomds late." Remy said as he got up to hug the other man. "Apologies, my car didn't lock the first time." The other replied. "Logan, this is Virgil. Virgil, Logan." Emile introduced them. Virgil's initial plan was to just wave but Logan held his hand out to shake it and now he had to. "Emile told me we'll be sharing a room?" Somehow Logan managed to state a fact while making it sound as a question. "Yeah, I already picked a bed if that's okay." Virgil replied. "Oh that's fine, I don't have a preference." He then turned to Emile. "Which room are we in?" 

"You're in the one on the west, I know you like sunsets." Emile replied as he walked into the kitchen. "What does everyone want for lunch?" He called over his shoulder. "Babe, we'll eat anything you make." Remy replied. "He is an exquisite cook." Logan confirmed before walking up the stairs with his bags. "You need help with your bags?" Virgil asked as he saw Logan struggle with one of them. "That would make the trip easier." Virgil took that as a yes and took the bag that Logan struggled with. "Jeez, what's in this, a body?" He asked as he lifted it. "Yes." Logan replied with a straight face. They were quiet for a second before Logan chuckled. "They're books." He said, and now Virgil was laughing too. 

 

"So, when will the others get here?" Logan asked later when they were all sat in the living room. Reruns of Avatar: the Last Airbender were playing on tv and they were munching on the sandwiches Emile had made. "Patton shouldn't be long." Emile said. "And Roman probably forgot to pack, grossly underestimated traffic, stopped for McDonalds because he couldn't make dinner, and won't get here before eight pm." Remy continued for him. "That's Roman." Logan confirmed. "Wait, you mean Roman Prince?" Virgil asked, a tiny bit of anxiety creeping into his relaxed state. "Yeah, why, what'd you do?" Remy asked, suddenly interested. Shit was going down, so Remy was listening. "I talked to him at the wedding for like three hours and we got drunk and then we flirted before moving on to bitch about everyone else and then I called him bitch boy." Virgil said, his face slowly going red. "Virge, why." Emile just asked, ripping his attention away from the tv. "I do that when I get drunk!" Virgil defensively replied. "Yeah, you do." Remy agreed, sipping his iced tea. "Don't sip your tea at me, I have a drinking problem." Virgil said. "How are you doing on that? Is your new therapist talking to you about it?" Emile said. "Alright Doctor Picani, chill. Not your patient anymore." Virgil quickly replied, not wanting to talk about it.

"I'm very confused, how did you all meet?" Logan spoke up from his side of the couch.

 

Surely enough, Patton arrived less than fifteen minutes later and started talking Emile's ear off as soon as he opened the door. Virgil internally groaned, knowing that Emile would also get hyperactive if there was another hyperactive person nearby. The two of them were chatting excitedly when they walked into the living room until Patton suddenly stopped mid-sentence to pull Logan into a side-hug before turning to Virgil. "Hi, I'm Patton, you must be Virgil." He quickly said. He made no effort to get any physical contact with Virgil which made him really happy but also set off the alarm in his head. He was incredibly touchy with Emile and had pulled Remy into a hug as soon as he could and he'd even sort of hugged Logan but he didn't even try to touch Virgil. This man was a Therapist. And one that could read body language very well, based on how he moved with a weird mindfulness.

 

Patton was a golden retirever puppy in human form, was the conclusion Virgil had come to by the time dinner rolled around. The second conclusion was that Virgil weirdly didn't mind. He wasn't usually too big a fan of energetic people but patton's bubbly nature seemed to brighten up the room. It was the exact opposite of everything Virgil was used to from his laid-back roommate back home, and he didn't mind it one bit.


	4. The Bitch Boys

Remy had been completely right when it came to Roman. He'd started packing too late, underestimated traffic, and had eaten McDonalds as dinner since wasn't gonna make it. He finally arrived at 8 PM with more bags in tow than the other three combined. Virgil remembered Roman was hot, but, surprisingly, that hadn't just been the alcohol. Roman was  _hot_ and now Virgil had to live with having called him 

"Bitch Boy!" Was the first thing Roman yelled when he saw Virgil. It wasn't a mean yelling, it was more like he was sharing an inside joke, which Virgil supposed they were. Patton was the only one confused, since the others already knew. "Yeah, sure, bring back that embarrassing memory." Virgil had replied before Roman had pulled him up and into a hug. They'd been gathered around the table playing Monopoly (Logan was winning) ((Patton was losing because he kept accepting bad deals)) until Roman arrived and now it was basically mayhem. When he'd let go of Virgil, he'd moved on to Patton, who eagerly hugged back. He pressed a kiss to Logan's cheek before letting go of him and Logan wiped at it with a napkin while Roman moved on to Remy. He seemed to put extra power into that hug and he kept hugging him until Remy squeaked out an "I can't breathe". Then he took the last empty seat at the table before Virgil could process what had happened. Roman had hugged him. And he'd let him do it. No, he'd liked it. Virgil didn't do hugs. Was he really so touch-starved that- yes. Yes he was. Fuck. 

 

They'd ended up playing board games until one AM, at which point Logan, Patton, and Emile all said they should get some rest because sleep was important. They all went off to their respective bedrooms and Virgil quickly changed into some sweatpants while Logan was in the bathroom. "So, how are you liking the vacation so far, it seems like you are enjoying yourself." Logan's voice drifted out of the bathroom. "I mean, it could be worse." Virgil shrugged. "So yeah, I guess I am, what about you?" He asked as he grabbed his toothbrush and walked into the bathroom. "It has been...satisfactory so far." Logan replied, and Virgil could see a small smile on his lips. "Y'know, according to Remy, we could dump you and Patton into a spider-infested cave and you'd still have the time of your life." Virgil teased. "That seems highly unrealistic, Patton is arachnophobic." Logan said, but Virgil could see the blush creeping onto his face. "Oh I'm glad I didn't bring Shelob." Virgil said. "You named your pet spider after the spider from Lord of the Rings?" Once again Logan asked a fact. Virgil just nodded since he was now brushing his teeth. "I mean, creatively speaking that's horrible but your choice of books is good." Logan said before walking out of the bathroom and slipping into bed. Virgil followed soon after, slipping into his own bed. Both of them had their curtains and windows wide open and they could see the stars. 

"They'll probably drag us down to the beach tomorrow." Logan said, stifling a yawn as he turned off the light. "That's okay, I could use a tan." Virgil said. "You're a fool if you think you'll get to lay there tanning. Patton and Roman will do anything to get us to be active."

"Sounds like hell, I'm in. That way I'm prepared for the real thing."

"Who says you're going to hell? The Westboro Baptist Church?"

"Nah, there's more valid reasons for me going to hell."

"Samesies."

"Never say that again."


	5. The Bartending Barista

Logan had been right on the money. As soon as they'd stumbled downstairs - well, Virgil stumbled, Logan managed to walk down the stairs like a normal human being - Patton was asking them if they wanted to go to the beach with them. He asked it with huge puppydog eyes and Virgil usually hated the beach but he couldn't say no to those eyes. Logan and Virgil exchanged a look before saying yes at the same time. Logan and Patton kept talking while Virgil walked over to the kitchen, following the smell of waffles. "Virgil! Good morning!" Emile greeted him enthusiastically. Remy pressed a plate of waffles into his hands. "Go sit, I'll get the idiots." He told him before sticking his head out of the kitchen. "Hey, idiots, come eat!" 

"Remy, we both have a doctorate!" Logan replied but they did come into the kitchen. "What's your doctorate in, Lo?" Virgil asked, momentarily stopping the stuffing of waffles into his mouth. "Chemical Engineering." He replied, sitting down next to him. "What do you do for a living, then?" Was Virgil's follow-up question. "I work at a research lab. I won't go into detail about it since I've been told it's boring." 

"You shouldn't listen to Ro so much sometimes, he does love you even if he doesn't say it." Emile told him, not really looking up from the waffles he was making. "Then why does he constantly insult me? Surely if you love someone-" Logan didn't even finish his sentence before Patton and Emile simultaneously told him it was just a coping mechanism. "Lots of people do that." Virgil said before continuing eating his breakfast. "That's true, I tell Virgil that I hate him all the time." Remy chimed in. "But you're never mean to me." Emile said, he almost sounded sad. "There's a difference between how I feel about Virgil and how I feel about you. I love Virgil but I'm not  _in_ love with him. I am with you, that's why I married you." Remy said, shrugging. Emile turned around and put his hand under Remy's chin so he'd tilt his head backwards and Emile could kiss him from where he was stood behind him. "I'm gonna barf, can you two chill?" Virgil asked them. "Shh, they're cute." Patton said bringing a waffle to Virgil's mouth so he'd shut up.

"Anyways, back to the conversation from before, Virgil, what do you do for a living?" Logan asked, ignoring Emile and Remy. "I'm a barista at Starbucks and I'm also a bartender at a local Irish pub." He replied almost shamefully. All of them had really good and difficult jobs (well, apart from Remy since he'd quit at his old place to become a stay at home dad as soon as the adoption came through) and he was just a barista. "Nice, how long have you been doing that?" Logan asked then, sipping his coffee afterwards. "About ten years now?" Virgil guessed. He wasn't really sure. "You've been working in the service industry for ten years and you haven't lost your mind?" Patton asked with wide eyes. "Why'd you think I go to a therapist." Virgil shrugged. "I figured it was for your anxiety issues and repressed childhood trauma." Logan replied. 

Lucky for Virgil, Roman burst in right at that moment, yelling about how he was ready to go. He was already in his swimwear and he had a towel and a beach ball under his arm. A pair of sunglasses rested atop his head (Virgil couldn't help but notice that it was a different pair than yesterday) and he didn't have a shirt on. "Roman, no nudity allowed at the dinner table." Remy said without even looking up from his phone. "I'm not naked!" 

"You're damn close. Put a shirt on or you're eating in the living room."

"I guess I'm eating in the living room." Roman cheerily replied as he grabbed a plate of waffles. "I'll come with you." Virgil said. He thought he might've sounded a little too eager but Remy was the only one that shot him a look. Virgil shot one back and grabbed his plate, sitting down next to Roman on the living rom couch. 

"Thanks for keeping me company." Roman said as he turned on the tv. "No problem, princey." Virgil replied.


	6. Discussing Hugs

"Last one in the water is straight!" Roman yelled as he started running. "Ah shit!" Virgil exclaimed as all of them started running. He was horribly out of shape. Luckily, Logan was too, and he only had to beat one person to the water. Which he did, but only just. Logan was in less than a second after Virgil was. "Sorry, Logan, you're straight now." Roman called as soon as he saw them. "How dare you call me that." Logan jokingly replied. "You're right, that's offensive, sorry Lo." Roman said as he started splashing Patton with water. "Did everyone put on the good sunscreen?" Patton asked before engaging in a water war with Roman. All of them said that they had. "Are they always like this?" Virgil asked Logan as he watched Patton and Roman splashing around like children. "Yes. But that's okay. Sometimes, behaving like a child has its benefits." Virgil looked at the other and saw that he was just staring at Patton, who was laughing loudly with Roman. "I think he likes you too, you know." Virgil said. Logan seemed to snap out of his trance. "Who?" 

"Pat."

"Are you insinuating that I like Patton?"

"Remy said so and now that I've actually met you, I can see that you do." Virgil shrugged. "And he hugged you. Yesterday." 

"Patton hugs everyone."

"He didn't hug me because I don't like hugs. You've said that you don't like physical contact but Patton wouldn't have hugged you if he thought you'd be uncomfortable. He's smarter than Remy gave him credit for."

"Wha-well you didn't mind when Roman hugged you."

"I've also never denied that Roman is fucking hot."

"So you like Roman."

"I don't know him well enough. Physically, sure, I'd do him, but I don't know if I  _like_ him, you know? I'd never want to be in a relationship with Remy but I don't regret taking him home."

"I don't need to know what Remy is like in bed, Virgil."

"Alright. I'm just saying, he probably likes you back. Based on the way he is around you."

"What do you mean?"

"Well he's different when he's around you, L."

"In what way?"

"He gets really bubbly and happy and he looks at you like you mean the world to him."

"He's always bubbly and happy."

"You just don't know the Patton that he is when he's not near you."

"So he's lying about who he is when he's near me."

"No, you just make him happy. Remy gets happier and sappier when he's near Emile but do you think he's lying?"

"No." Logan begrudgingly admitted.

"Exactly."

They sat in silence for a bit before Patton and Roman came splashing towards them, mischievous looks on their faces. "I think they've formed a team. We should run." Logan said with wide eyes before getting up.

 

They didn't get back to the house until 5 PM. They were all exhausted and sandy and Virgil and Logan both just wanted a shower. "Can I please have first shower? I promise I'll be quick!" Virgil bargained. "But then I'll have to wait for that while covered in sand." Logan replied. "I'm also covered in sand!" Virgil said. "You can use our shower if you want, Virge." Roman suddenly spoke up from behind them. "Oh, um, thanks Ro." Virgil said. "But don't you need it?" 

"Nah, padre and I can wait. We  _are_ the reason you two got covered in sand." Virgil nodded. "Okay, thanks."

 

Roman was in his and Patton's room when Virgil showed up with his stuff. "Ah, Virgil, you here for the shower?" Roman asked. Virgil just moved his arms a bit, drawing attention to the clothes and towel in his arms. "I don't have any shampoo. Logan forgot his so he's using mine." He said. "Right, you can just use mine. It's the red bottle, it's on the plank above the sink."

"Okay, thanks."

"You're welcome."

"Yeah I'm gonna go shower." Virgil said, moving past him. 

"Right, yeah, shower."

"Yeah."

"Yeah." And with that Virgil closed the door.


	7. Whining and Dining

Virgil was twitchy during dinner that night. He knew it, the others knew it, but no one addressed it during dinner. He was agitated and his replies were short and he wasn't hungry, which Logan found odd since Virgil had been stuffing his face with waffles that morning. But still, no one addressed it during dinner. 

"Whose turn is it to do the dishes?" Roman asked as he started putting their plates onto the counter. "I think it's Virge and Remy." Patton replied. Emile nodded along while he started to help Roman put everything on the counter. "Alright, who wants to watch Parks and Rec?" Patton asked and the four of them left the kitchen. 

"So, are we gonna talk about it?" Remy sked as soon as his hands were in the water and Virgil had a towel in his hands. "About what?" Virgil asked as he picked up a plate to start drying it. "How you haven't had a drink in three days and you're already getting withdrawal symptoms."

"I'm not getting withdrawal symptoms." Virgil replied defensively. He was getting withdrawal symptoms, he knew that, Remy knew that, Patton, Emile, and Logan probably also knew that. Maybe Roman didn't know. "Yes you are, you know full well you are. But two weeks ago you told Emile that you're trying to stop drinking." Remy grabbed the next plate and continued scrubbing. "Maybe I lied, so what. It's none of his business, he's not my therapist anymore." Virgil snapped back. "He's your friend and he loves you and you shouldn't lie to him." Remy said. "You're even starting to sound like him, fucking hell." Virgil mumbled. "Listen, what I do with my life is not Emile's business, it's not your business, it's not anyone's business apart from me. It's my life." 

"So what if I'm starting to sound like him? I care about you, too, you know. And this isn't healthy."

"Is this the same man that flirted so aggressively that the bartender got embarrassed? The same guy that fucking decked a guy for checking me out while he was chatting me up? You've gone soft, Remy. And you might say that my choices are unhealthy but they were once your choices too." 

"Maybe I have gone soft, but that's only because I've found someone and I love him and he deserves better than the piece of shit I was when I met you."

"Oh yippie, Remy found love and now, all of a sudden, his addictions are gone! It's a miracle!"

"Nothing about that shit was sudden, Virgil. I haven't had a drink in two years and that's only because we don't keep alcohol in the house. I haven't smoked in three and that's because I know that Emile still unconsciously sniffs whenever we hug, just to make sure I don't smell like smoke. And nothing about it was sudden. I went to the meetings, I put in the effort and I got better. And just because you're too god damn lazy to actually do something with your life, you decide to lie to us, tell us you're fine when you're destroying the future you refuse to work for!" 

"Whatever, I'm leaving." Virgil said, storming out of the kitchen and then out of the house, looking for the nearest bar.


	8. Three Hours and Two Beers

It'd only been ten minutes and two shots of vodka later when Virgil heard a familiar voice next to him. "Yeah, can I get a glass of tap water?" Roman asked the bartender as he sat down next to Virgil. "A water, really princey?" Virgil asked before slamming back his third shot. "I drove here, I plan to drive you back." He just replied. "Whatever. Can I get another?" Virgil asked the bartender. "Don't give him another." Roman said. "Not you too." Virgil said, laying his head down on the bar. "It's been too long. I just wanna get drunk, do something stupid or just do someone, then pass out and regret everything in the morning." Virgil complained. "Don't get him that drink. I'll pay you ten bucks if you don't give him anymore alcohol." Roman told the bartender before turning to Virgil. "I don't mean to brag, but I don't need alcohol to do stupid things." He said, stroking Virgil's back since he still had his head on the bar. "Unlike you, I have a sense of shame." Virgil said. "I also have an anxiety disorder." That got a small laugh out of Roman. "You don't have to be ashamed of yourself around me, bitch boy. I already know what you're like."

"Because of three drunk hours at a wedding?"

"Because of three hours that I spent sipping on two beers at a wedding." The bartender put down two glasses of water in front of them. Virgil quickly sniffed the glasses to make sure there wasn't any alcohol. "You can't just make me go cold turkey, Romano."

"You just did three shots of vodka, this isn't cold turkey. I know people who'd be passed out right now."

"It wasn't strong vodka, and I'm not a lightweight. Not anymore, at least." Virgil said. "But it was still three shots so it's not cold turkey, it's enough to get some people drunk." Roman replied. "Oh please, it'll get me tipsy, at most." Virgil said. "I know, I've seen what it takes to actually get you drunk enough to sleep with a stranger." Roman chuckled before sipping his water. "Please tell me I didn't try to sleep with you at the wedding." Virgil groaned. "Wait, you don't remember that?" Roman asked, looking kind of shocked. "Well I don't exactly drink to remember, Roman. No, I don't remember anything after the whole bitch boy thing." 

"Well we made out for all of ten seconds and then you tried to get a hand down my pants and I pushed you off and basically dragged you back into the ballroom to ask Remy, who was making out with Emile, what to do with you. We ended up just letting you sleep under a table. You were passed out at that point and we didn't know what else to do." Roman said. "You managed to pull Remy and Emile apart?" Virgil asked with wide eyes. "Yes, they were worried about you so they helped me." 

"Thank you." Virgil softly said. "For what?" Roman asked him. "Not taking advantage of me but getting Remy and Emile to help you." He said. "Anyone would've." Roman said airily. "No, they wouldn't have." Virgil said. "You're not the first to be in a similar situation but, the first time it wasn't you and it wasn't Remy and Emile and I didn't wake up under a table sligtly confused but fine apart from that." They were quiet for a bit and something in Virgil seemed to break slightly as he started drinking his water. "I just- thank you, Roman." He said. "No problem, Virge." They sat in silence after that.

 

"Virgil, do you want to go?" Roman asked. It was about an hour of small talk and glasses of water later. Virgil nodded and got up. "Thanks for coming after me." He said. "I don't know this town, don't know where I would've ended up if I'd kept drinking." Virgil said. "Virgil, you're my friend, of course I came after you." Roman replied, wrapping an arm around his shoulders. "But thank  _you_ for coming after me. I don't think I could've handled Remy. Patton and Emile would've been all shrinky and Logan would've made too much sense."

"So I was perfectly incoherent and stupid, with just enough personal history to calm you but not enough to make you uncomfortable." Roman laughed. His arm was still around Virgil's shoulders and Virgil was incredibly aware of that. He only removed his arm when they'd reached his car, but he did open Virgil's door for him. 

When they'd been drving for a while, Virgil spoke up again. "Hey Roman?"

"Yeah?"

"I think I might like you."

"Okay."

"Is that al you're gonna say?"

"Virgil, you've drank."

"I'm not even tipsy."

"There's a difference between not tipsy and sober."

"Do you want me to tell you again in the morning?"

"Yes, that would be nice. But first, let's just go home."

 

And Virgil realized it did feel like Home.


	9. Minty Strawberries

The next morning, Virgil realized he also didn't need to be drunk to make bad decisions. "Hey Logan?" He asked, getting a grunt in reply. "I think I told Roman that I like him."

"Why?"

"Because I do."

"Yes, I am aware of that, but why did you tell him?"

"I don't know, we bonded, I guess."

"And what happened to only liking him physically?"

"Well I got to know him, Lo, and he's not a bad person. He can be annoying but he's amazing."

"Are you gonna keep gushing about him? Because then I'm just going to brush my teeth while you do that."

"No I just want to know your objective opinion."

"Well that is my specialty." Logan replied, sitting up to he could look at Virgil. "I told him when we were in the car last night and he just said "okay"." Virgil started. Logan's eyebrows furrowed. "So I asked if that was all he was gonna say and he said that I should ask him again in the morning because I'd had alcohol."

"In my opinion, you should go tell him again since that is obviously what he wants, but you should brush your teeth first." Logan said and Virgil got up and walked into the bathroom to do that. "So how are you and Patton doing? Any changes?" Virgil asked from the bathroom. "I do not like Patton." Logan replied. "Fine, love whatever." Virgil continued. "Have you talked to him?"

"Of course I've talked to Patton, we are friends."

"You know what I mean, L."

"No, then."

"No protesting about how you don't like him?" Virgil asked. "What?" Logan replied. Virgil rolled his eyes and spit out his toothpaste. "You didn't protest."

"We haven't talked yet because there is nothing to talk about. I don't like Patton and he doesn't like me."

"I'd love to fuck with you some more but I gotta go talk to Roman." Virgil said before walking out of their room. He didn't pay attention to the fact that he was just in his sweatpants, it was too warm to wear a shirt anyways. "Good morning Virgil!" Emile said when he spotted him running to Patton and Roman's room. He knew Roman was probably still in there. "Morning Doc, is Pat up yet?" Virgil called back. "Yes, he's having breakfast. You should join him."

"I gotta do something first." Virgil replied, before coming to a standstill in front of Roman and Patton's door. He breathed in and out slowly, trying to calm down before knocking on the door. He could hear someone stumbling towards the door on the other side and tried to keep his breathing under control. This wasn't a good time for his anxiety to kick in. Roman finally opened the door, looking like he'd just rolled out of bed, which he probably had. "Virgil, hi." He breathed. "Hi princey." Virgil replied. "You want to - um - you want to come in?" Roman stuttered out. "Sure." Virgil replied, walking in and sitting down on Roman's bed. "So..." Roman started. "So..." Virgil repeated. "You want to talk about it?" Roman asked, sitting down next to him. "Yeah." Virgil replied. "I've thought about it and then I talked to Logan about it and I like you, Roman, I really do. I thought I just thought you were hot but you're just- amazing."

"I think I like you too, Virgil."

"We're like schoolgirls, talking about who likes who. I'm twenty five, damn it." Virgil said, which made Roman laugh. Virgil just looked at him, ignoring his anxiety screaming at him as he let his impulsiveness take over. He slowly leaned forward, cupping Roman's cheek. "Can I kiss you?" He asked. "Your tongue's been in my mouth, Virgil. Yes, you can kiss me." Roman replied. "Yeah but I don't remember that so it doesn't count as a first kiss. Virgil replied as he kept leaning closer. "It so does." Roman said before closing the gap and kissing Virgil.

And fuck, that felt nice. It was just a kiss, Virgil knew that, but this was the first time in seven years that he kissed someone he really liked and fuck, strangers didn't compare. Roman's lips were soft and they tasted like strawberry while his mouth tasted like mint. Virgil's theory was that he'd brushed his teeth and put on chap stick. But that didn't matter because shit, Roman was a good kisser. Or maybe Virgil just hadn't been kissed by someone that wasn't just trying to get into his pants in a long time. He moved his free hand to Roman's waist as Roman's hands found their way to his neck, one of them sneaking into his hair. They finally pulled apart after a while, just smiling at each other for a little bit before Roman broke the silence. 

"Breakfast?"

"Yes, I'm starving." Virgil replied. Roman got up and pulled Virgil up by his hand, intertwining their fingers afterwards.


	10. Miracles

All things considered, breakfast could've been worse. Things between Virgil and Remy were only slightly tense and Virgil figured that, while he'd been in the bar talking to Roman, Emile had been talking to Remy. They were civil at least, and Virgil no longer felt the urge to yell at him. It probably helped that Roman was holding his hand under the table as they ate their cereal. "So, what are we doing today?" Emile asked no one in particular. "Virgil hasn't seen the museum yet." Logan said, after which Patton gasped. "You're right, we should go to the museum." All of them seemed to agree. "What's so special about this museum that even Remy wants to go?" Virgil asked, looking around the table. "Our first day here ever, we went to the museum, so now we go every year. And it's tiny and always the same. We love it. It's almost like it's just a part of the house." Emile explained. "We still have fun, even if we have seen all of it before." Roman chimed in. "What type of museum is it?" Virgil asked them. "That's the best part. It's a Viking museum." Patton said. "There were never any Vikings here." Virgil replied, confused. "Exactly. It was founded by two Danish jews in the second world war, and they didn't know much about Native Americans but one of them had been an archeologist in Denmark and the other was a historian with a fascination for Viking Mythology." Logan elaborated. "We all know a weird amount of facts about the Norse gods." Roman said, squeezing Virgil's hand lightly. "Sounds fun, let's do that." Virgil said.

 

"Welcome to Mimir's Miracle, Virgil." Roman said as they walked to the doors of the museum. It was just a house in a street that had been transformed slightly to house the museum, and a small sign on the door read "Mimir's Miracle" while a big one above it read "MUSEUM". 

"Why's it called that?" Virgil asked as the group walked inside. "Well Mimir, in viking mythology, was an entity that could look into the future. Prior to moving here and about a month before the war reached Denmark, the couple that founded the place had gone to a fortune teller, who had told them to flee the country, come here, and start a museum." Logan explained. "Of course, soothsaying is still bullshit, but it seems to have worked out for them." 

"Hey Logan?" Patton asked suddenly. "If I told you to go to France and start a museum in one specific town, just because I'd seen the future, would you go?" Logan thought for a little bit before answering. "Yes, because you are always looking after me. So far, listening to you has proven to be a fairly rational thing to do." He finally said, and Patton's face lit up. "But it would be because it's you, not because of some vision you claim to have had." Virgil squeezed Roman's hand. "They're a bunch of idiots." He muttered. Roman chuckled. "Yeah, but they're our idiots."

 

"That was...more fun than I thought it would be." Virgil admitted when they walked out of Mimir's in the afternoon. "And the food was fucking amazing." Remy added. He was right, the sandwiches were like heaven. "You guys wanna do the adult thing and take a walk on the beach?" Roman asked the group. "Roman this is the second time I've heard you suggest something mature." Remy replied while laughing. "And the first time you were trying to get into my pants."

 

"So, how do you like it so far?" Roman asked when they were walking along the shore. Remy and Emile were leading the pack, probably being sappy. Patton and Logan walked behind them, just talking, and Roman and Virgil were last in the group, still holding hands. "It's had its ups and downs, you know? I mean the whole drinking thing and also I'm not used to being around people but, well," he held up their linked hands to show what he was talking about. "I should take you on a date." Roman said, frowning. "I haven't even taken you out yet."

"I mean the bar was sort of a date, you even drove me home."

"Was the time you picked Remy up a date?"

"No, but I drove him to my place, not his own."

"Virgil my place is your place, unless you'd wanted me to drive you back to New York."

"Would you have done it?"

"Of course, my dark and stormy knight."

"Sap."

"As if you mind."

Virgil grinned into the distance. He didn't mind. He really, really didn't.

 

"So what's for dinner today?" It was the first night that someone other than Emile would cook, and Virgil was kinda nervous. Emile was such an amazing cook, but he didn't know what the others were like. "Oh! I think I'm gonna make this really nice dinner salad with some garlic bread." Patton said. "But it's kinda hard to make on your own, so I need some help." Before anyone could say anything, Logan had already volunteered. Remy and Virgil exchanged a look. "Idiots." Virgil mouthed before moving his attention back to the card game they were playing.


	11. Infinitely Small

"Who wants to go to the beach?" Roman asked after they'd been sat in the living room for a while. "It's almost midnight, Roman. It's not safe outside, if something goes wrong then there's no one around and also it's cold and we could get hypothermia." Virgil replied, not really looking up from his phone. "It's never gone wrong before." Roman shrugged. "Wait, you guys just go outside at night, to the beach, when like fifty things could go wrong." Virgil finally looked up at Roman. "Well Logan said there wasn't that big of a chance that something would happen. We're all white dudes, the only thing we have against us is that none of us are straight." Roman said, pointing to Logan so he could support him. "While yes, a lot could go wrong and there's no people around, we are statistically less likely to be hurt or killed during the night than a woman or a person of color. That doesn't make it safe, but we're also in a group of six, so the chance that we will die is-" Logan paused for a second to think of a word, "infinitesimal." Patton finished before Logan had a chance to. "No, it's really small, Pat." Logan told him before going back to his thinking. "Yeah, it's infinitesimal." Patton replied. "That means really big."

"No it means really small."

"It's really big!"

"No, it means really really small. The word is infinitesimal, if you split it it's infinite and simal, which comes from small. It means infinitely small."

"Fuck, that made sense. Roman, look it up." 

Roman saluted him and pulled out his phone to google the word. "It means really really small, dad was right. Which means-" Roman didn't finish his sentence, but everyone seemed to know what he meant. Logan sighed and rubbed his forehead before giving in and walking over to Patton. He quickly wrapped his arms around him in the most stiff and awkward hug Virgil had ever seen, and Patton smiled and hugged him back. "You were correct, I was not." Logan grumbled. "What's this?" Virgil whispered to Remy. "Whenever Logan is wrong but Pat's right, he has to hug him. It's a rule." The other shrugged.

"So anyways, are we going to the beach?"

 

In the end it was just Virgil, Roman, Patton, and Logan who went down to the beach. Remy and Emile had decided to just stay in and, after plenty of teasing about them mellowing, the other four had left, Patton already talking about a campfire.

"Did anyone remember to bring marshmallows?" Roman asked over the sound of Patton's excited chatter when they reached the beach. The other three all shrugged. "Well, at least Remy and Emile have something to eat now." Virgil said, not feeling like going back to the house. Logan and Patton had already started building the campfire and Virgil and Roman quickly started helping them.

"So is this just, like, a thing you guys do? Build a campfire on the beach and pretend to not be in love?" Virgil asked while he and Roman were looking for wood and stones. "Yeah, it's a whole thing. Logan always tries to get Patton to look at the stars with him but Patton is an idiot and declines because he gets cold. So then he tries to get Logan closer to him by complaining about being cold but Logan is also an idiot and it just..."

"So they've been idiots for years, then."

"Yeah, we're doing pretty well, kissing after like two days."

"And a wedding."

"You're right, and a wedding where we technically made out."

"I was drunk!"

"Drunk words..."

"Oh fuck off." Virgil laughed. 

"I'm gonna take this back to the campfire, I'll be right back." Roman said before gathering the wood in his arms. "No, I didn't mean it, come back!" Virgil whined before looking Roman up and down. "Never mind, you look good from here, too!" He called after him. "I know!" Roman yelled back.

 

About half an hour later they were sat in the sand around the campfire. Patton and Roman were caught up in a conversation that seemed to be three conversations at the same time and Logan and Virgil were just sat next to each other, staring into the distance. 

"You know, I grew up near here." Virgil finally broke the silence. 

"Really? I didn't know."

"I know, I didn't tell you. I grew up in a pretty small town just up north from here. It's only twenty miles."

"Did you go to the high school here?"

"Nah, by that time we'd moved to New York. But I remember going shopping here sometimes."

"Why did you bring it up?" Logan suddenly asked him.

"I don't know, I guess I just- I grew up near the beach and this, all of this, it just reminds me of my childhood."

"It's nostalgia, then."

"Yeah, I guess it is. It's just that, being here, it's made me realize that I fucking hate my life."

Logan looked up at that, furrowing his eyebrows. 

"I mean I'm a barista and a bartender and I can still barely make rent. My roommate blasts music all day long. I'm twenty five and have a job and I need a roommate in order to be able to afford a place. I dropped out of college because of my stupid anxiety disorder and, fuck, I just miss this. I miss my old house, my old town, my old friends. I miss nights at the beach with my brother and smelling the salt as soon as I wake up. And this has only made me realize that it will never be that way again." 

Logan slowly put a hand on Virgil's back, unsure of how to comfort him properly. "Virgil, nostalgia can be a good thing. It's good to have something to lok back on that you enjoyed. But there's a difference between nostalgia and living in the past. Are you sure you aren't doing the latter?"

"But what if it never gets that good again, Logan?"

"Well, look around you, is this not good? You are spending the night on a beach with a campfire and people. Sure, we barely know each other, but you and Roman sure seem to be getting along well, and I like to think that we are friends. Patton can be a bit much at times but can you honestly say you dislike him? Life's about moments like these, Virgil. They are supposed to make you happy, but people with heightened anxiety, such as yourself, can experience sorrow instead. And that is perfectly valid. But it doesn't do well to dwell of the past, Virgil. You have to live for now and for the future." Logan said, and Virgil could almost detect a hint of emotion in his voice. 

"Hey Logan?" Virgil asked, "do you want to go stargazing with me?"


	12. Dunkin' Dudes

"And that one right there, Orions's hand, the one that's holding the shield, is Betelgeuse." Logan had been pointing out stars to Virgil for about ten minutes, occasionally explaining some of the science. "I know, that one's my favorite." Virgil told him. "Because it's so red. It's different, you know?" He explained, turning his head to look at Logan. The two were laid in the sand side by side a few yards from the fire. In the distance they could still hear Roman and Patton talking, but most of that was drowned out by the sound of the shore. Apart from that, there was only the quiet. The nearest town was miles away, and even the house was far enough that they could barely see its light. 

"It has that color because it's dying." Logan said, also turning his head so he could look at Virgil. 

"I know. Just because it's dying doesn't mean I can't love it." They both turned their faces back to the sky and went back to silence, with the occasional star getting pointed out by one of them.

 

They stayed like that for another ten minutes, until they heard a splashing sound louder than the shore already had been and a yelp that probably came from Patton. Logan shot up immediately, sprinting back to the fire. This time, Virgil couldn't keep up. "Patton!?" Logan yelled when they'd reached it and neither of the others were there. "Ro! Where the fuck are you!?" Virgil joined it. They heard another splash, this time followed by a clear laughter. "That's Patton." Logan said, making his way over to the water. Virgil grabbed his phone to use the flashlight so they could look for their respective idiots. As soon as he shone the light in the direction of the water, they saw them. Both were still wearing all of their clothes as they splashed around in the water, rough housing like they had last time they were at the beach. "Virgil! Come join us!" Patton yelled from where he was attempting to escape from a drenched Roman who had obviously just been dunked.

"Get back here before something gets you!" Virgil replied. 

"It's fine! We won't die!" Roman assured him as he finally caught hold of Patton and attempted to dunk him.

"Just get back here, then you can convince me to join you!" Roman immediately started moving towards the beach at Virgil's words, Patton following suit. 

 

"Do you idiots have any idea how fucking dangerous it is to swim at night?" Virgil was pacing back and forth in front of the fire as he scolded Roman and Patton. "Virgil." Logan warned, trying to get him to calm at least a bit. "L, you've got to see how dangerous that was. I mean going swimming in the dark is one of the dumbest things you could do. I can't tell you how many times my mother warned me and my brothers. Everyone in my entire god damn town knew not to go swimming at night and people still drowned in the dark." He ranted on. "Just a few miles up north is a small town. If you dive into the records you'll find the names of people that drowned near there because of idiotic shit like this. You'll find names of people I loved who drowned there. This water is barely safe during the day and it sure as hell ain't a good idea to go fucking _swimming_ in the  _dark_." He finally finished.

"Virge, I'm sorry, I didn't know." Patton quietly said.

"I'd still expect you to have an ounce of common sense in your body." Virgil bit back. At that, Logan reached out with his foot to tap his ankle. "Right, sorry Pat, you didn't know." Virgil gritted out after Logan's warning. 

"I think it might be best if we extinguish the fire and return back home." Logan said after a few tense seconds, and everyone else agreed.

 

"I'm sorry for being an idiot, Virgil." Roman said as they were walking back home. "It's fine. I'm sorry I went off like that." Virgil just replied. "No, it's not fine. You had every right to do that because it  _was_ a stupid thing to do." 

"Did you just admit that I'm right?"

"No, that never happened."

"You sure?"

"...Shut up."

Virgil laughed and linked their hands together. 

"So what'd you and Logan talk about?" Roman asked after a while of comfortable silence. "Normal stuff. It was stars, mostly. And a few things about growing up around here." Virgil shrugged. "Nothing about Patton?" Roman asked. "Nah, not really, why?"

"Patton wouldn't shut up about Logan the entire time." Roman exclaimed.

"Really? What sort of things did he say?" 

"Well it started with that Patton really admires him but ended with Patton really loving him. And there was a whole thing about how much he likes Logan's laugh."

"Are you sure he wasn't on something?"

"He doesn't drink or do drugs. Tired is the closest he'll get." Roman explained.

"Well then he doesn't even need alcohol to do stupid things. Reminds me of someone." Virgil teased.

 

"You guys have fun?" Virgil asked as he plopped down on the couch next to Emile, who was cuddled into Remy's side. "Just no too much fun. I don't wanna have to dry clean the couch." Roman added as he joined them, too. "Don't worry, we just did it on your bed instead." Remy said. "We didn't have sex on your bed, Roman. Remy's being annoying." Emile assured him. "It's one of my many talents." Remy told them. "It's your only talent." Virgil replied. "You come into my house, paid for by my husband, and you insult me to my face?"


	13. Let the Bodies Hit the Floor

"So, how are you and Roman doing?" Remy asked as soon as Virgil walked into the kitchen. "Rem, it's too early for this shit." Virgil groaned in response. It was about 6 AM, Logan wasn't even up yet, but Virgil couldn't sleep anymore. He should've remembered Remy liked early mornings. "I just want the deets, then you can leave." Remy bargained. "Never say deets again and we've got a deal."

"I can't promise shit but I'll try."

"Good enough. We kissed. Once. And then we held hands for most of yesterday. And now I don't know what the fuck we're doing. Because I've only known him for a few days, y'know?" 

"I hear ya."

"But he's so nice and it's so easy to talk to him but in a different way than Logan is. You were right about Logan, by the way, he's in love with Patton."

"Has been for years."

"But now I don't know what to do with Roman." Virgil whined. 

"Two years ago I would've told you to fuck him. But then I married Emile and you two should probably talk." Remy said, shrugging his shoulders. 

"Yeah, you're right." Virgil said, laying his head on his arms. "Sometimes I miss old Remy. I would've listened to that advice, too."

"I know, Virgil, I know."

 

Virgil could hear what sounded like the thump of a body hitting the floor, followed by Patton yelling "one second!" before Patton opened the door. Roman was laid on the floor next to his bed, tangled in his sheets, and Patton was breathing heavily. "Did you just drag him out of bed?" Virgil asked with a smile on his face. "Yes, a regular sleep schedule is healthy. Sleeping in as late as Roman does is not."

"You sound like Logan."

"Thank you!" Patton gave Virgil a side hug before leaving the room. 

"I didn't know you could smile, Doctor Gloom." Roman said from where he was now sat on the floor. His sheets were back on his bed and he was slowly getting up from his spot on the carpet. "Shut up." Virgil jokingly retorted. He sat down on Roman's bed and waited for the other to join him. He eventually did, but not before cracking his spine as he stood. Virgil cracked his knuckles in response. "So that's how you want to play this?" Roman asked. "No, I actually wanted to talk to you." Virgil said.

"I'm in trouble now."

"Nonono, it's nothing bad, I just figured we needed to talk about everything."

"We probably should." Roman admitted, shuffling slightly closer to Virgil so he could rest a hand on his knee. "So, you kissed a random dude on vacation." Roman joked. "Don't you quote Cap memes to me, Princey."

"Right, serious moment, let's talk. We kissed and then we held hands a whole lot."

"So, what are we doing?"

"Well I really hope we're building something, but if you want to just do it right now, I'd be down for that too."

"Roman, I'm being serious."

"Okay then, how's about you and I go on a date tonight?" Roman finally asked. Virgil's smile reappeared. "Yeah, that- that sounds good." Virgil nodded and slowly brought a hand up to Roman's face to flick some of his unstyled hair out of his eyes. Roman got the memo and slowly started leaning forward, making sure to silently ask Virgil permission with his eyes. Virgil leaned in to, and the two met in the middle.

It was somehow even better than last time. Last time it was all shyness and new feelings and this time, this time they knew it would be good. They knew they went wel together. Roman knew Virgil kinda liked it when he bit his lip. Virgil knew Roman liked it when Virgil smiled.

And shit, maybe Logan was right. Maybe knowledge was the most powerful thing on earth.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> it's a short one but that's bc i want to give the date its own chapter


	14. Looking Over a Wine Glass

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, so, there's a mention of past rape. It's nothing graphic or explicit, it's not stated explicitly, but it's incredibly heavily implied. If you want to skip that part, it's from '"You look uncomfortable."' to 'They left Amsterdam soon after that'
> 
> that part is also entirely in italics, so you can also just chevk where the italics start and end.
> 
> stay safe y'all

"So, have you and Roman finally talked?" Logan asked Virgil when the two were sat in the sand. The other four were in the water but Logan wanted to read and Virgil wanted to tan and sleep. "Yeah, we did, we're going out tonight." 

"And?"

"What do you mean?"

"You clearly feel that something is off."

Virgil sighed deeply and rolled onto his stomach. "This is my first real relationship since Danny." He finally said.

"Danny 'the asshole' Danny?"

"The very same."

"So you are uncertain of how to approach this situation?" It was an observation and a question all at once. Logan was good at those.

"I'm not. This is the longest time ever between me sitting in a bar with someone and me sleeping with that person." Virgil groaned as he laid his head in his arms.

"Is that a bad thing? Do you hate the fact that you and Roman have not had sex yet?" Logan asked.

Virgil slowly lifted his head again, the lok on his fave one of realization. "No." He finally said. "I don't mind at all, actually."

"I assume that's unusual."

"It is. I always got so bored even after just an hour of flirting and now."

"It has been days."

"Exactly!" Virgil suddenly shot up. "I don't need to have sex with Roman." He whispered, loud enough for Logan to hear. He got up and stretched. "I don't feel the need to have sex with Roman!" He exclaimed, grabbing the attention of some people around them. "I'm gonna go tell him." He ran off before Logan could try to talk some sense imto him.

"Hey, Roman!" Virgil called as he walked into the water.

"Yeah?" Roman asked from where he was stood, trying to dunk Remy. Virgil got slightly distracted by the water glittering on Roman's bare torso but shook his head to get himself back on track.

"I don't want to fuck you!" Virgil said it with such glee that he didn't realize that Roman wasn't all that happy.

"Is this your way of cancelling our date?" 

Virgil sighed and made his way over to him. "No, I mean, I'm not bored. I don't want to have sex with you just to shut you up." He said. This time, Roman did seem happy. Happy enough to let Remy escape. He looped an arm around Virgil's waist. 

"This okay?" Roman muttered against Virgil's lips. Instead of answering, Virgil closed the gap.

 

"So, where are you taking me?" Virgil asked when he and Roman started putting on their shoes to leave. "That's a surprise." Roman replied with a wink. "Not that big on surprises, Princey. Anxiety and stuff."

"You know this town a bit, right?"

"Yeah, why?"

"Have you ever heard of a place called Amsterdam?"

"City or restaurant?"

"Restaurant."

"Then yes."

"You mean you haven't heard of the city of Amsterdam?"

"No, where is that?" Virgil asked with an innocent look in his eyes, before snorting and going back to his shoelaces.

"Well we're going to the restaurant." 

"Yeah, I figured." The two of them walked to the front door.

"Don't be home too late!" Patton called after them.

"And have fun!" Emile chimed in.

"But not too much!" Remy finished his husband's sentence.

"Remember to use a condom." Logan somehow managed to say with a straight face.

"Logan I swear to go-" Roman closed the door behind them before Virgil could finish his sentence. "Ready?" Roman asked, holding out his hand.

"Ready." Virgil nodded, linking his fingers with Roman's.

 

"And outta nowhere, this chick just grabs my ass, calls me a little bitch, and buys me a drink before leaving." Virgil finished the story, causing Roman to laugh. "I went home after that because to be honest, nothing was gonna too that."

"You mean the girl or what she did?"

"Both. She probably thought I was a really masculine girl or something." Virgil shrugged.

"It was mlm wlw solidarity." Roman nodded. Virgil snorted at that. "Oh, speaking of solidarity, you won't believe what happened during choir this one time..." Roman started another story over their dinner. It was a good thing they'd both ordered something cold, because neither were getting around to eating much.

 

_"You look uncomfortable." Roman said, looking at Virgil over his wine glass. "What's wrong?"_

_"I had fun." Virgil just said, shrugging slightly._

_"It's a bad thing that you had fun?" Roman questioned, setting down his glass._

_"No, it's good, don't worry. It's just been a while since I've had fun on a date. Actually, I don't think I've ever had this much fun on a date." Virgil replied, sloshing his wine around in the glass. He hadn't drank much of it yet whereas Roman had almost finished his glass._

_"When's the last time you were on a date?"_

_"We're already talking exes?"_

_"Shouldn't we be?"_

_"I don't know." The two were quiet for a while before Virgil spoke up again. "His name was Danny, and he was an asshole." Roman quietly nodded along. "We were high school sweethearts, and he was nice during high school, he really was. And then we went to a party during freshman year in college, and I got drunk. Like, really drunk. I was a lightweight, so it didn't take much, but I passed out on the couch of some frat house. Danny, ever the gentleman, carried me back to our dorm. And he laid me down on my bed, like a good boyfriend would, and he took off my shoes, like a good boyfriend would, and then he took off my socks, and my shirt, and he kept going."_

_Virgil took a sip of his wine to give himself the courage to keep going. "I woke up the next morning with him next to me, and we were both naked, and I couldn't remember what had happened the previous night. I figured we'd both gotten drunk and stumbled back home together and then we did it. But when I asked a friend of mine, they told me that Danny hadn't had a drop of alcohol all evening, while I'd passed out on that fucking faux-leather couch in the frat house." Roman had reached over the table to put a hand on Virgil's._

_"Virge, I'm sorry."_

_"That's not the end. I stayed after that. I stayed with him for another three months, two weeks, and four days. And then I came home one day early. And he was already in our dorm, I knew that, and I wanted to surprise him so I'd gotten him some coffee. And I walked in and there he was. First I thought he was having sex with someone else, but later I realized the other guy wasn't really doing much. I haven't seen him since. I left without even grabbing my stuff. I got on a train to New York City, and I didn't look back." Virgil finally finished._

_"Virgil, I'm-"_

_"I know, you're sorry, but it wasn't your fault, it wasn't my fault, it wasn't the guy's fault, it wasn't anyone's fault but Danny."_

 

They left Amsterdam soon after that, and only during the walk home did Virgil tell him the restaurant's reputation. "Do you know why it's called Amsterdam?" He asked Roman.

"No, why?"

"Well it used to be called Lindberg's. It was named after the owner, but everyone started calling it Amsterdam and they went with it."

"Why did people call it Amsterdam?"

"Have you ever been to Amsterdam? Not the tourist part but the places where people live."

Roman shook his head.

"Well, Amsterdam is known for two things. Hookers and weed."

"Do I want to know how that became the name for the restaurant?"

"If you know the right people there, you can get all sorts of fun stuff."

"So our first date was at a drug dealer's?"

"Are you saying that there's gonna be a second date?"

"Only if you want to."

Virgil smiled at the ground. "Yeah, I'd like that."


	15. Anxiety in Musicians

"I don't wanna go to sleep yet." Virgil confessed when he and Roman had reached the house again. There was still light on in Remy and Emile's and Logan and Virgil's bedrooms, but the living room was now vacant. "Can we go to the beach?" He asked, looking up at Roman.

"Yes, of course we can go to the beach." Roman excitedly replied.

"Your love for the beach is kind of weird, you know that, right?" Virgil joked as they turned around and started walking.

"It just feels good to be in the water." Roman shrugged.

"No swimming at night, Ro."

"I know. It's also nice to just look at the sky. I could write entire songs just about the way the stars reflect on the water. Or how the light of the moon illuminates the sand."

"You write songs?"

"Yeah. I have a performing arts degree. I had to. But I just do it for shows now."

"Do you accompany yourself or does someone else?"

"Someone else does, usually. It's mostly writing for original shows my theatre is doing, why?"

"I can play the piano."

"Really? I didn't know that."

"Apparently playing an instrument helps against anxiety. I think it's bullshit because every musician I know has some sort of mental illness."

"Is that really a thing? Anxiety in musicians?"

"Oh yeah, big time. One of my brothers plays in a concert band. Everyone is stressed all the time. Many people want to die. He says the shared suffering has really brought them closer together. Do actors not have that?"

"Well yes, a bit, but most of us are overconfident and that doesn't leave any space for anxiety."

"You don't say." Virgil joked, getting an offended gasp from Roman.

"Are you saying I'm overconfident?"

"Your words, not mine." Virgil tried to put his hands up but forgot his left was still in Roman's right.

 

"So this is what you and Logan did for twenty minutes while Pat and I were in the water?" Roman asked when they were laid in the sand, looking at the sky. They were laid incredibly close together and Roman's arm was under Virgil's head. They'd let go of each other's hand so they could point at things.

"Well, there was more science involved and less touching but yeah, basically. Why, are you bored?"

"No, weirdly enough, I'm not."

"So stargazing isn't really your thing, huh?" Virgil asked, tilting his head to the side so he was looking at Roman, who also shifted so he could look Virgil in his eyes.

"Not usually, I always need to be doing something. But it's okay with you."

"Just okay?"

"No, a bit more than that."

Virgil smiled and moved his head forwards a bit more, catching Roman's lips with his own. Roman also smiled into the kiss, and their teeth clashed in the middle. "Oh yeah, no, smooth." Virgil commented before leaning back in and kissing Roman properly this time. Their lips moved in sync for a while before Virgil could feel Roman licking his bottom lip and he let Roman in.

 

"Okay, so, don't be mad, but I sort of asked Patton to go sleep in Logan's room tonight." Al of the lights were off when they returned to the house again, and Roman had to grab the spare key out of the flower pot to even get them in. "Both so we could be alone and so they could be alone." Roman continued, looking at Virgil nervously. "But we don't have to do anything, I just thought it would be nice to cuddle."

"Liar, that's not what you were thinking." Virgil joked. 

"Okay, maybe it wasn't, but then you told me about-"

"Can we please not talk about him?"

"Okay, sure, but you told me and now I feel bad about it."

"It's okay, we'll figure it out as we go along."

"Yeah. Yeah, okay." Roman closed and locked the door behind them and the two made their way up the stairs.


	16. Patton and Logan

Virgil woke up the next morning because of three knocks on the door. He stretched out his arm and managed to knock one time in reply, not moving away from his spot in Roman's arms. The door opened and Remy leaned against the doorpost, raising an eyebrow at Virgil. "We didn't. Both of us are wearing pants, you asshole." He said as he pulled his arm back from its uncomfortable position. "And he's still asleep. We'll be down eventually."

"I'm not even here to talk about you two. It's Patton and Logan."

"Wait what? What happened?"

"Well Logan just downed his third coffee and Patton is happier than normal."

"Roman, wake up, shit went down." Virgil said as he sat up.

"Wha-?" Roman mumbled, pulling Virgil back down.

"Dude, get up." Remy said before throwing one of Patton's pillows at Roman's face.

"Why the fuck is Remy here?" Roman asked. He still hadn't moved or opened his eyes.

"Because something happened between Patton and Logan last night and all we know is that Patton is happier than normal and Logan didn't sleep much."

"And Logan is really specific about his sleep schedule." Virgil added.

Roman groaned but finally sat up. "So they fucked, so what?"

"We don't know that they-" Virgil started, only to be interrupted by Remy.

"They fucked. Trust me." 

 

"So, what happened with you and Patton?" Virgil asked when he and Logan were sat in the sand together again. "Because Remy has a theory but I wanna get my information straight from the source. Or, well, gay from the source."

"Please cease your punning, I am not prepared to deal with more of those." Logan groaned. He actually looked up from his book this time.

"So what happened?"

"Well Roman had banished Patton to my room, presumably so he could have sex with you."

"We didn't, go on."

"Why didn't you?"

"Stop trying to change the subject. What happened with you and Pat?"

"We talked for a long time and eventually we ended up talking about you two and how your date was going." Logan finally started, putting his book down fully. "And at some point he had sat down on my bed, I am unsure as to why, and his arm was touching mine."

"Nice, classic, go on."

"Well we continued our conversation and I turned my head towards him since people keep teling me that it is polite to look someone in the eyes while you are talking. So he looked back and next thing I knew-"

"You two were making out." Virgil finished for him.

"And then he fell off of the bed and started laughing. I was unsure what to do so I just started laughing along. And he climbed back on, but this time he was in my lap."

"Once again, classic move, also very Patton."

"Would you mind if I skip over some of the details now?"

"No, that's fine, I don't need to know all the details."

"Good, I would feel uncomfortable discussing them."

"You should embrace your sexuality."

"Are insinuating that you would be comfortable discussing your sex life?"

"Sure, this one time-"

"That was not an invitation, Virgil."

"I know. But anyways, you and Patton fucked?"

"Yes."

"I just want to know who bottomed, so I can make the right jokes at the right time."

Logan sighed deeply as a blush crept onto his face. 

 

 


	17. Go Chop his Dick off

And the rest of the first week was over before they knew it. Nothing big really happened throughout it; Patton and Logan went on that date, and it was nice, perfect, even. Remy and Emile kept celebrating their honeymoon whenever they could, and taking care of the others in the process. And Virgil and Roman, well...

They had a good talk, and then another, and another. And every night Virgil snuck into the other room, passing Patton in the hallway, who was also changing rooms. And Virgil and Roman argued about pizza toppings, and swimming alone, and sunscreen, and movies, and everything, really. And it didn't matter because  _fuck_ they were in love.

 

"Y'know, I think I'm actually starting to love you." Virgil mumbled into Roman's shoulder in the night of the seventh day. "Which is weird, because I don't love a lot of people, and I don't start loving someone quickly." Roman stayed quiet and Virgil began to think that he'd said something wrong before Roman pulled him closer and, in his tired state, muttered a soft "I love you too." into Virgil's hair.

 

"And then he just told me that he loves me." It was 6 AM and Remy and Virgil were the only people awake. Both were on their second mug of coffee and had no intention of stopping soon. "Like, what am I supposed to do with that?"

"I don't know, man. Do it at your own pace, I guess. Emile told me he loved me on the first date, but it took me months, and we're married now." Remy shrugged as he filled both of their mugs again.

"And that didn't, like, make things awkward? No hard feelings?"

"No, he knew it was gonna take me a while, and he accepted that. If Ro can't accept that, you're gone."

Virgil nodded. "I'm gone."

"You're gone. Now go chop his dick off."

"Rem, come on." Virgil groaned.

"Okay, that wasn't serious. But I meant the thing about being gone. He's getting all of you or none of you. He can't pick and choose. And neither can you. Love can be gross. Emile's cleaned up my vomit, sometimes that's the way life is. You gotta accept that part of each other."

"We're not at the vomit part yet, Rem. Hopefully." Virgil frowned and sipped his coffee.

"I know, just warning ya."

 

Logan was the next one to be up. Remy and Virgil were still in their sweats but Logan was already dressed for the day, his hair done, and teeth brushed. "Mornin'." Virgil greeted him as he walked into the kitchen, straight to the coffee pot. "Good morning. How long have you two been awake?" Logan asked as he poured himself a mug and refilled Virgil's. Remy had just grabbed a new mug. "Too long. I've been awake since, like, two AM." Virgil whined. "We've been down here since six, so two hours." Remy shrugged. "Why have you been awake for so long, Virgil?" Logan asked as Remy left the kitchen to go get Emile. "Roman told me that he loves me." Virgil groaned.

"After only a week of knowing you? That is soon."

"Yeah, no shit."

"Well, do you also love him?"

"I mean, I-I'm starting to but..."

"It's too soon in the relationship."

"Exactly. I don't know what to do. Remy told me to just do this at my own pace but what if he leaves me, Logan? I don't wanna lose him because I can't love him yet."

"Well, to be frank, if he leaves you over this, he does not deserve your affections."

"That's what Rem said, too. And then he told me to go chop Roman's dick off. Which I won't do. He's gonna need it."

"Ah, we're back to sex jokes. Good to see you are still yourself."

"Speaking off-"

"Still not discussing it with you."

"Ugh, fine."


	18. Waffles

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i got exams coming up so i'll try to update daily (bar monday) but they're not gonna be long so...

Patton, Emile, and Remy joined them in the kitchen not too long after that, and the five ate breakfast while chattering about everything and nothing. Virgil couldn't help but notice that it  _worked_. The dynamic between all of them didn't seem weird or strained or anything of the sort. They were all...happy together. And somehow, it was making Virgil happier, too. He laughed at Patton's terrible jokes, tried his best to pay attention to Logan's ramblings, and joked around with Remy the whole time. And it was nice. It was good. It  _felt_ good. And god, it had been a long time since Virgil had been so comfortable in a group. They reminded him of his friends back in elementary and middle school, back when he still lived a stome's throw from the waves that he could now hear, crashing into the nearby shore.

 

Roman finally came downstairs at around 11 AM. They'd left him a plate of waffles on the counter and he immediately grabbed in and nearly inhaled the food. "Why can't you eat like a regular human being for once in your life, Roman?" Logan sighed. "I waf hungy!" Roman exclaimed through a mouthful of waffle. Virgil laughed at him and pointed at his own chin. "Dude, you got some whipped cream on your face." Roman immediately started wiping at it furiously while swallowing his last bite of waffle. 

 

"So, how'd you sleep?" Roman had decided to tan alongside Virgil this time. Not that he needed a tan, he always made sure he was tanned, even in winter. Logan was actually in the water for a change, and that was only because Patton had dragged him along. "Could've been worse." Virgil shrugged.

"Virge, I don't sleep nearly as much as you think, I know you barely slept."

"Well, then you also didn't sleep much!"

"Ah, but I didn't get up at six. I got five hours after you left."

"So I'm the reason you barely slept?"

"Am I the reason you barely slept? And please be honest, Virgil."

Virgil sighed, weighing his options in his head before nodding.

"Well what did I do? And how can I fix it?"

"It's not anything like that, it-" Virgil rubbed his forehead, "you said you love me."

"Ah, I see." Roman just said.

"And Ro, I like you, I really do but fucking hell-"

"It's too soon, you have a past, I understand." Roman didn't sound annoyed, like Virgil feared he would. Instead he sounded honest. And understanding. And like he really didn't mind that much.

"So...you don't hate me?"

"Virge, why would I ever hate you? I love you, and if it makes you uncomfortable to say it back, then don't. If it makes you uncomfortable when I say it, then I won't. Because I really do understand."

Virgil leaned over and pressed a short kiss to Roman's lips. "I like you." He said. Roman smiled up at him lazily. "I like you, too."

 


End file.
